A Conversation I Never Had About Hammers

Shop Assistant (hereby known as SA): Good afternoon madam, do you need any help?

Me: So, yeah, I need to buy a hammer?

SA: Right, what sort if hammer are you looking for, madam?

Me: I don't know, just one that, y'know, hammers things.

SA: Right... what sort of things do you need to.. um, hammer, madam?

Me: Uh, nails, I guess. Like, not the nails on my fingers, cause that would just be stupid. Just regular, metal nails into wood. I don't really know what else people would ever actually need to hammer. I mean, I don't need a fancy hammer, just a regular hammer. Also, the cheaper the better. But not at that point of cheapness that it works once, then breaks, because that could be unfortunate. I don't want to be hammering something, and then just have the head fall off, and wow, that sounds weird. But yeah, I totally saw that happen to a guy once. He was just hammering the floor, and then the head just fell off. Actually, it wasn't even a hammer. It was a spade. And he was digging a ditch. But it's basically the same thing, amiright?

SA: ...Um.

And then he left. Possibly forever. And no, I don't know what that means either.


Disclaimer: This conversation never happened, apart from in my head. Please don't ask me why I had an imaginary conversation with myself about hammers, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I am going to be terrible at living alone. 

Problems I have with clothes these days

I went shopping today, with one of my friends from school. It was pretty fun, I showed her around all of my favorite vintage shops, and comic book stores, and then we headed into the center of town to look at the high street shops. And I'm not gonna lie - they baffle me.
I'm not sure when the happy medium with clothes stopped existing, or maybe I just go in some odd shops, but I'm pretty sure  that clothes come in two styles these days; tiny and missing chunks of fabric, or built like military tents.
Like, jumpers, for a start. I liked the old days of jumpers, when you could look pretty AND be warm, instead of being swamped in some Grand-dad style, knitted affair. Then dresses are the exact opposite. I remember the days when a dress covered ALL of your back, and WASN'T see through if it did.
I think I might just be old.
I blame the hipsters.
A xx