Anyway, anyway, anyway, I make new years resolutions every year, and never, ever keep them (mostly because I've forgotten what they are by February.) But this year, I am determined, determined goddamn it to keep them . Mostly by making them really, really easy to achieve.
- Don't start doing heroin. Do start doing heroines. They're well fit. But the lady sort, not the drug sort. I'm kicking off with this one, because I know I can keep it. There's no chance of me doing heroin. I listen to too much Radio 4.
- Cut down on tea. Ahahaha, this won't happen. But the sentiment is nice, right? I need tea like a nun needs cock. If I go too long without it, I do get cravings. I wouldn't go as far to say that I have a caffeine addiction, because it is only tea. It's just.. really, really nice. Shush. I love tea. It's just turning me into a bit of an insomniac.
- Don't make a tit of myself in another country. I'm going to Berlin next year, just for a few days. It would be nice if I didn't mortally embarrass myself there. Also, not getting lost in a German sex club would be nice. Damn, those things are scary. There is a high chance I won't actually get there anyway, I have terrible organisation.
- Do more writing. This is actually quite likely, I like writing, it is fun. I want to learn how to write proper stoies, and have characters that talk to me, and get a column published in a newspaper. Also, it's really useful for picking up girls.
- Get off with a transvestite. No real reason for this, I just have a bit of a thing for drag queens.